The Sharing of Fears
by Medie
Summary: After Rebecca's death, Amanda and a student remember their friend. (HL Lyric Wheel fic)


Disclaimers: I don't own any of the characters of Highlander, nor do I own their interpretation  
of Immortality. I'm just playing. Shaun's mine. You could borrow her but   
she'd probably just steal something and run. *G*  
  
Category: Post ep for Legacy.   
  
Spoilers: Legacy  
  
The Sharing of Fears  
by M  
------  
  
Paris, France  
May 10, 1994  
Rebecca's Grave  
  
Standing over the grave, the petite Immortal felt her throat constrict with unshed tears. She  
hadn't believed it when Amanda had come to her home in Dublin to tell her about Rebecca. It  
had seemed impossible - no way Rebecca Horne could possibly be dead. Of all of them, she'd   
been the one she'd thought to actually have a shot at winning the Game.  
  
'There can be only one, Shaun.' Rebecca's soft voice intruded into her memory and she lifted   
her head, dark eyes shining with tears. 'None of us can escape the fact that we must fight...it is   
our destiny.'  
  
"I know." She answered aloud. "But it wasn't supposed to be you that lost."  
  
The whispery sensation of another Immortal skittered across her awareness and she turned,   
looking warily for the newcomer. Yes they were on Holy Ground but nevertheless, she wanted  
to be careful. She knew Amanda had intended to go after Luther, it was why she was in Paris,   
but she didn't know if her teacher would win. So, if Luther had won - she fully intended to go   
after him. And, if this was him, she wanted to be ready.  
  
Fortunately, it was Amanda who appeared at the end of the row and walked up to greet her.   
"Shaun..." Smiling wanly, the older Immortal moved forward to hug her student. "You came   
after all..."  
  
The Irish Immortal's smile echoed that of her teacher. "Couldn't stay away...had to say goodbye.  
Even if she can't hear me."  
  
Hooking an arm with hers, Amanda led them away from Rebecca's grave. "Maybe she can."  
  
"I would like to think so."   
  
They fell silent then, both lost in their memories of the Immortal who'd had such a large impact  
on their lives.   
  
Finally, she voiced the question that had been swirling in her mind. "What about Luther?"  
  
"He's dead." Amanda responded with more than a little satisfaction in her voice. "Duncan killed   
him three days ago."  
  
"MacLeod?" the younger Immortal clarified with a raised eyebrow. "As in Connor's student?"  
  
"Mmhmm..I stayed with him after I told him and when he found out who'd killed Rebecca, he   
went after him." At the suspicious look from Shaun, Amanda confessed. "All right, I went after  
Luther first. Duncan came after us and lured him away. He'd guessed I'd try it and planned ahead."  
  
"I'm glad Luther's dead...." She smiled over at her friend. "and that you're still in one piece. After   
all, if you died who'd I get to play thief with when I get the itch?"  
  
"I still don't know why you're doing this Security consultant thing..." The elder Immortal pouted,  
grateful for the lightened conversation. "It's not nearly as much fun."  
  
"Oh yes it is." her former partner-in-crime countered immediately. "and the best part is I get   
paid *and* the police don't try to put me in prison."  
  
"Well, that is a benefit..." The professional thief allowed with a small nod. "But still, I miss our  
little schemes."  
  
"One of these days we'll commit a nice felony just for the fun of it, how's that?"   
  
Looking at her student, Amanda laughed and shook her head. "Can you imagine what Rebecca   
would say if she heard you say that?"  
  
The Irishwoman's eyes crinkled in suppressed laughter. "Probably something to the effect of   
what she always said - Amanda, you're supposed to teach Shaun to be clever *and* honest, like  
I tried to teach you.' Which, of course, is the part you always managed to conveniently forget."   
  
"Well she can't say I didn't teach you a trade...besides, she took care of the teaching you to be   
honest. Rebecca always was much better at that than I - but then, she was better at a lot of   
things."  
  
****  
England  
December 20, 1405  
Abbey of St. Anne  
  
Shaun O'Hara couldn't sleep, her dreams wouldn't let her. Instead the young Irishwoman was  
wandering around the Abbey, eyes wide as she looked at the possessions of Amanda's teacher.  
She'd never seen *anything* like it in her young life.   
  
Rebecca was a real live Lady - not just some woman dressed up pretending to be one or some   
woman who'd married a rich old man to gain his fortune. No, she was a Lady through and through.  
She hadn't seen many in her life but she knew enough to know that Rebecca was the genuine article.  
  
That, still unfamiliar, sensation of another Immortal's approach skittered through her mind and  
she jumped in fright - looking around another door, trying to find a way out.   
  
"Shaun?" Rebecca's cultured and warm voice halted her frantic search and she spun to see the  
older, redheaded, Immortal standing in the doorway with a candelabra in her hand. "What are   
you doing up?"  
  
"I wasn't pickin' or anythin'," the Irishwoman rushed to explain, worried about what she would   
think. Some people didn't like having other people, much less a commoner, touching their things.  
"I was just lookin' at the pictures."  
  
Smiling, the redhead moved to set the candelabra on a small table and walked over to look up  
at the painting then down at the young Immortal. "That's fine...I don't mind you touching things."  
She chuckled. "Sometimes I can't help but reach out and touch them myself, in the right light   
they seem like magic."   
  
Concern lighting her eyes, Rebecca rested a hand on her shoulder. "You seem troubled Shaun...  
can I help?"  
  
Sighing, the young woman turned to look out the nearest window at the night sky. "It's nothing  
too important - just bad dreams."  
  
"Talking about them sometimes helps..." She offered, stepping closer. She knew Amanda's   
student was awed by the surroundings in which she lived as Amanda herself had been intimidated  
by them so many years ago. "I promise I won't tell anyone - not even Amanda."  
  
The dark-haired Immortal looked back at the older woman with a hesitant look in her eyes.   
Nevertheless, she began to speak.  
  
"I've been dreaming about the Quickening." She confessed quietly. "I saw Amanda take one just   
outside London - I'd never seen *anything* like that before...T'be honest, it scared me."  
  
She sighed, pacing a few steps away. "Tis always the same dream, I'm never on my own, but there's  
nobody in sight - noone save the body a few feet away. I can't see who I've killed but the   
Quickening's just beginning - trying to reach me, I want to move, to run, but I can't turn to the  
left or right and its steady coming toward me, creeping across the ground like phantom fingers."  
Shaun shivered violently and returned to the window, looking out at the starry night.   
  
"I'm too scared to run and I'm too weak to fight it..." She dropped her head, resting her hands   
on the cold stone of the windowsill. "I don't know why I'm afraid of the lightning...but I am.   
It terrifies me."  
  
The admission made, the young Immortal's head seemed to droop a little more. It didn't take  
much observation for Rebecca to realize that Shaun's confession of her fears to an Immortal  
- of the status she perceived Rebecca to be - was quite a blow to her Irish pride.  
  
"Scared me too." She confessed with a rueful smile, moving forward to rest her hands on the  
sill as well. "The Quickening is an intense thing to witness - I was afraid I'd lose myself in it. My  
teacher told me that it has some of who the other Immortal was within it. Almost a piece of his  
or her soul...and that terrified me. I thought that killing another of my kind meant I'd either be  
possessed by this dead Immortal or eventually, I wouldn't be me anymore. I'd be made up of   
pieces of them."  
  
Surprised, Shaun looked up at her. "You too?" After the words were out of mouth, she flushed  
slightly and looked down before continuing. "I didn't know how to tell Amanda...She's the best   
friend I ever had but somehow, its just not something I want to tell her. "  
  
"Understandable." Rebecca smiled. "There are some things I'm sure she doesn't want to tell me.   
Its best to have more than one friend...that way you don't overload someone else's shoulders."  
  
"And there are some things you can tell some people, that you couldn't tell others." She sighed  
and paced away a few steps again. "How did you..."  
  
"Get past the fear of the Quickening?" Her elder finished for her. "Well, I told my Teacher my  
fear, just as you've told me, and he told me that while the Quickening does have an element of   
that dead Immortal in it, its not enough to overwhelm me. That my own soul is too strong to let  
that happen. And that, in time, I'd learn to deal with them better. And I have."   
  
Resting a hand on her young friend's, she added. "There can be only one, Shaun, none of us can  
escape the fact we must fight...it is our destiny."  
  
Paris, France  
May 10, 1994  
The Graveyard  
  
"She was right too." Shaun smiled with a small shrug. "It did get easier."  
  
Amanda's smile was sad and fond at the same time. "Rebecca always did have a talent for allaying   
fears. She did the same for me - when I was afraid of facing the Quickening."   
  
The same expression of surprise that had crossed Shaun's face nearly six centuries before,   
found its way to her face again. "You never told me you were afraid of the Quickening."  
  
"Not just the Quickening..." The elder Immortal corrected as they reached their cars. "I was  
afraid of life as an Immortal, of fighting, of dying. First time I was challenged, I ran right back  
to her - hoping she'd hide me."  
  
"What did she do?"  
  
"What you'd expect." She smiled again, resting a hand on her car's hood. "Asked me would I run  
and hide for the rest of my Immortal life, told me to choose the ground, choose my weapon,   
and face what was to come."  
  
"Which you did." The younger woman put forward with a smile. "Obviously."  
  
"Yes, obviously." Amanda laughed. "I was shaking so badly I could barely hold my sword in my   
hands but I did. And once we began to fight, all that Rebecca had taught me came into my mind   
and I found myself winning. My first Quickening...I curled up in a ball and shivered until it hit. I  
must have looked like a rag doll being flung about by an angry dog - but I survived it."  
  
"I don't remember much about mine." Shaun confessed with a quiet voice. "Just that there was   
so much light, and it felt as if someone was tearing me apart and remaking me all in the same   
moment. Then it was over and then you were there...Helping me up, talking to me, taking me   
back to the house and running a wet cloth over my face. I felt like I was a little girl again and   
my mother was wetting my face like when I'd catch a fever - like I was safe."  
  
Her dark eyes decidedly teary, Amanda moved to hug her student. "Rebecca did the same for  
me. She told me that taking a student was almost like having a child of my own. That for some,  
I'd care as much about them as I could about my own child. When I found you, I remembered   
all that and I was terrified." She chuckled. "We both know I'm not exactly good with responsibility."  
  
Her student laughed lightly but shook her head. "When it all comes down to it, you come through."  
  
Brushing a hand down Shaun's longer hair, she continued. "I almost left you behind - the idea  
of having a student...scared me to death but,"  
  
"Rebecca." the shorter woman put forward with a sad smile.  
  
"Rebecca." Amanda agreed. "I remembered what she'd told me about having a student, that it   
could be one of the most rewarding things I could ever experience, that the friendships I'd   
make could be with me forever, and I had to say."  
  
"I'm glad you did." The Irish Immortal responded quietly. "It wasn't the most orthodox of   
training but it was definitely what I needed. Besides," She bumped her hip against Amanda's and  
grinned. "You definitely taught me a trade, Rebecca may not have approved but I have to admit,  
its kinda fun to be at thief sometimes."  
  
Laughing, Amanda nodded. "Rebecca taught me, and you, to be creative but she also taught us   
to be honest..."  
  
"But we forget that part." The two women chorused as one.   
  
They might forget to be honest but neither would forget the woman who'd had such a profound   
impact on their lives.  
  
Physically, Rebecca was gone but her memory, as long as they lived, was still very much alive.  
  
Paris, France  
May 10, 1410  
Empty lot  
  
Lowering the sword, the young Immortal dropped to her knees and clutched the hilt in her   
shaking hands as she went limp. Her first head...  
  
And her first Quickening. Even now the energy was snaking its way across the ground toward  
her. "Jesus, Mary and Joseph..." She whispered in fear as the mist covered her knees and   
moved up her body. Her own words to Rebecca came back to her lips and she shivered. "Too   
scared to run and too tired to fight..."  
  
As the lightening overwhelmed her and the young Immortal screamed out in agonized ecstasy,   
Rebecca's words filled her mind, "There can be only one Shaun, none of us can escape the fact  
we must fight...it is our destiny."  
  
Those words were echoing in her mind as the world exploded into swirls of colour and sensation   
and Shaun O'Hara tasted the Quickening.   
  
Finis  
  
Psychobabble   
Tell you 'bout a dream that I have every night   
Tell you 'bout a dream that I have every night   
It ain't kodachrome and it isn't black and white.  
Take me for a fool if you feel that's right.   
Well, I'm never on my own, but there's nobody in sight.   
I don't know why I'm afraid of the lightning  
Trying to reach me I can't turn to the left or right   
I'm too scared to run and I'm too weak to fight   
But I don't care it's all psychobabble rap to me   
  
Tell you 'bout a dream that I have every night   
It's in dolby stereo, but I still can't hear it right.  
Take me for a fool. Well, that's all right.   
Well, I see the way, but there isn't any light   
I don't know why I'm afraid of the lightning   
Trying to reach me.   
Help me to find out what I don't want to know.   
You're taking me there, but I don't wanna go.   
I don't care.  
  
It's all psychobabble rap to me.   
Psychobabble.  
All psychobabble.   
Psychobabble.   
All psychobabble.   
  
You're lighting a scene that's faded to black.   
I threw it away cause I don't want it back  
But I don't care it's all psychobabble rap. 


End file.
